Day 11: A Deceased Person You Wish You Could Talk To

Dear Steph,

8th Grade 1998

I remember you coming to Crawford in 7^th grade, your family had moved here from Owensboro. I remember nobody else really liked you because they thought you were stuck up. I remember admiring your confidence because I was so shy. I remember your bright blue eyes and pretty smile. You seemed so older beyond our age. You always had answers to everything and had your own grace. We became best friends very quickly. I introduced you to all of my friends and they became your friends too. Erin, Ashley W, Casey H, Tony, John G, LaTodd, Megan, Jessica, were a few in our circle. In middle school, we made a trip to Chicago. We sat together that trip, we were inseparable. Many nights I spent the night at your house. We would sleep in the guest bedroom with that feather bed. I remember you had the most curliest hair ever. To straighten it, you literally ironed it. Your parents, Mark and Cindy, were always so nice to me. We went to football games at Henry Clay because that’s where Miranda went to school at. You and her used to argue a lot. I also remember your parents taking us to the fair Toyota used to have for its employees.



Before Chicago 1997

 High school came, they changed districts, and you were stuck going to Henry Clay. I was trying to convince my mom to let me go to Henry Clay so I could be with you. At the same time, you were trying to convince your parents to let you come to Bryan Station to be with me and our other friends; you won that battle. Freshman year, we remained close. Most of our classes were together. We both had a crush on Jason Decker, we loved that he was Coach Nochta’s assistant. We enjoyed the football games that year, which none of us watched, we all actually snuck in alcohol and hung out in the grassy area. Later that school year, I found myself separating from everyone in our clique and migrating towards a different group of friends. I was in different classes that were more towards academics and some of the people we hung out with were getting into things I didn’t agree with. You and I always stayed in touch though. By the time we graduated, we spoke in passing but never hung out anymore.

last day of freshman year 1999

I went off to college and was working full time. You stayed in Lex, got married, started a family. Then one fateful day, there was a horrible accident. I remember getting a call from my mom while I was at work. I shut down completely. I was beside myself, this couldn’t be happening. But it was confirmed. God took you and Sydney to Heaven that day. What were the odds? Why did He need you so soon? How come you didn’t move out of the way from that falling concrete? I guess you didn’t hear it nor see it. Why didn’t someone shove you out of the way? Why didn’t it fall before you had begun walking down the sidewalk? These are some of the questions asked that none of us will ever know the answer to. I still think of you often. I know Brian is taking great care of Raigann, who is a spitting image of you. We may not have been best friends anymore, but the pain isn’t any less than if we were. I hope your family and friends are healing with the time that has passed. The accident isn’t something I dwell on but the fact that you are gone and watching over so many of us, is what I find comfort in. You were beautiful that last day I saw you and I will forever remember our times together.

Since then, several people have passed away that we have gone to school with. Each time, it doesn’t get any easier. The shock that young lives are taken too early never seems to get old. Amber Hauerman, Jessica Rulis, Ryan Allen, Casey Alexander, Jeremy Pruitt and a college friend Daniel Covington. The song that sticks out in my mind waiting at your visitation, reminds me of you, every time I hear it on the radio:

When I get where I'm going,
there'll be only happy tears.
I will shed the sins and struggles,
I have carried all these years.
And I'll leave my heart wide open,
I will love and have no fear.
Yeah when I get where I'm going,
Don't cry for me down here.

You are greatly loved and missed!
Love Always,
Mistypoo